You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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