Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize