Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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