Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
