You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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