I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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