So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
