At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
