Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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