she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
