Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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