I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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