I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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