I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
