Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
