i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
