You made me cry and you don't even care
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize