I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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