he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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