Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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