Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
