There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
