I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
