It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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