you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
