I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
