I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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