Christians are straight up FREAKS
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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