put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
