speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
