did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
