he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
