I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
