Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
