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So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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