Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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