I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Life is so much better after having sex.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
