It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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