Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
