Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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