the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
