She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize