please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
