Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
