called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
