I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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