If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize