@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Green mimosas i think yes
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize