You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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