I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i out mim tonsoeep
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