Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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