Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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