Me. At least after what I've been through.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
