I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
