party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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