told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
