I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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