Me. At least after what I've been through.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
