real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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