How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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