do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
